We are in Kay's room it is small very little room on each side of her bed....with just enough room for the little chair that turns into a bed...that's where I will sleep. Kay is still intebated hooked up to a ventilator....she can't breath on her own; she wakes up with horror in her eyes not knowing what happened where she is. She makes motions to talk I tell her she can't I try to stay calm so she stays calm. She motions her hands to write something; she is full of questions...what happened? where am I? how long will I be here? when do I get to go home? where is daddy? where is brandi? how did I get here? I'm hungry am I going to get to eat again? But the question that hurt the most was "Do I still get to go on my Make-A-Wish trip to Disneyland?" I answer as best I can..."the docs are doing everything they can honey to get you better; we will look at your trip in a few days." I think she knew though that it was not going to happen.....I think Kay knew a lot more than we did....afterall who knows ones body best than your own??? Kevin finally got there it was a long journey for him with quite a few bumps in the road. He was on his way the tire blew he tried to get it fixed....didn't work; his sister managed to get money together to get him a plane ticket he had no time to get to airport the plane was held for him.....he makes it. He is anxious mad sad in shock just beside himself.....why he asks? Why Kay???!!
It was time to sleep yeah right...who can sleep? I stay in the room with Kay...there was no way she was letting me go anywhere! Kev sleeps on a chair in waiting room....well that's where he stayed....can't say he slept much. Brandi remained in Quesnel with Kev's sister Kathy.....we needed to figure things out before we could bring her down; she wasn't too happy about that but we needed to make arrangements for our family to sleep. Kev starts making calls to family and friends....letting them know asking for their thoughts and prayers for Kay to get better. Long night............
June 8, 2011 - Six Years ago Today...
7:00 AM rounds the doc came to check on Kay as he already read the nurses notes about her asperating the night before. He orders Kay to the OR room he is shaking his head not quite sure what happened. He orders tests to find that her right lung has collapsed she is intebated...lots of docs and nurses working on her. He comes out of OR still unsure of what is happening to my daughter she won't wake up no response at all. He begins conversing with Children's Hospital; for a doctor he is very distraught trying to comfort me and then it is decided that she will be flown down to Children's Hospital. I was in shock Brandi is in shock and mad not knowing what is going on with her big sister. A Social Worker comes to see me to try to explain what is going on....so much uncertainty the SW offers me a phone to call Kay's dad....I tell dad what is going on that he needs to get up to hospital as we are being flown out by 5:00 PM. I'm starting to get anxious I feel like I'm walking around like a zombie...I guess that is what stress does to a person. I hear myself talk but don't know what I am saying. No tears no tears just a lump in my throat as I'm trying to explain to Brandi what is happening. Why did her lung collapse? How can a mother explain when she herself doesn't even know. Brandi was very brave handling things like a trooper...staying positive. Time is just ticking away....before I knew it Kev finally gets there with his sister Kathy around noon he appears in worse shape than me. Kathy sits with Kay...holding her hand telling her how much we all love her that everything is going to be okay. Kev and I talk with doctors....still no answers. Kev decides to take van home so he can get ready to drive to Vancouver to meet us at hospital. Kathy stays with me and Brandi and continues to sit with Kay....I can't bring myself to sit with her...I'm afraid of losing it I had to stay brave for Brandi. Brandi and I play air hockey....yeah Brandi beat me. The time has come Kay is ready to go Brandi wants to come but there is only room for mom....she is very upset :o( We are loaded into ambulance I hug Brandi and Kathy and didn't want to let go...it was very difficult for my family to be slit up at the time...but there was no choice. The drive to PG airport seemed like it would take forever. The ambulance driver was very nice she kept talking to keep my mind from falling to pieces. She told me that she dedicated Kay's name to this cause (for the life of me I don't even remember what that was). We got to airport I was asked to enter first....wow very small I'm claustophobic...I concentrate on my breathing....Kay is loaded....totally sedated. There is only me two BCCH docs a nurse and the two pilots. I just sat there and watched Kayla...she slepted not know what is going on. We arrive in Vancouver another ambulance ride; we arrive at BCCH she is whisked into a room I am whisked into waiting room....when door to ICU opens there is my Auntie Debbie.....still no tears just fear and uncertainty. I am numb lost and just in shock. Waiting waiting waiting....finally I can go into Kay's room....she is still sleeping. I met the nurse Andrea....she seemed nice trying to explain what was happening....nothing could explain why....why Kayla.
June 7, 2011 ~ 6 years ago today
Six years ago today right at this moment Brandi Kayla and I were sitting in Prince George Hospital Pediatric ward sharing her dinner....what we didn't know was it was her 'last supper'. She thoroughly enjoyed grilled chicken mashed potatoes and corn all with ketchup...of course :o)
It started the night before I had to bring her into emergency in Quesnel...she kept complaining of having a very difficult time breathing to have the docs tell me they couldn't find anything yet again bring her home and if it gets worse just bring her back. That next morning (Juni 7 2005) started out pretty good got Kevin off to work and my Brandi~Bear off to school; however Kay was different...she wasn't waking up....in fact she was lethargic. I called the Pediatrician in Prince George he said to get her up here and admit her to the pediatric ward. I made some calls to track Kevin down got an overnight bag ready I made some calls to have Brandi taken care of I loaded Kay into the van drove to Brandi's school to let her know what was going on. Now if any of you know Brandi you can imagine the choice vocabulary that came out of her mouth....basically she was coming. We drove downtown Quesnel met up with Kevin and away we went. Prince George is only just over an hours drive....but it felt like the longest drive ever.....Kay remained lethargic so pale and shallow breathing. We went through all the admitting paperwork and finally got her upstairs where the nurses took over and got her hooked up to oxygen....Kay came around asking what happend asking where she was...asking for food - her favourite pass time was eating. We enjoyed watching tv laughing talking and then all went to sleep. We were awaken at 1 AM to Kay asperating the nurse came in and cleared her airways which helped a bit. Brandi went back to sleep I just couldn't sleep....I sat by her bed watching her frail little body struggling waiting waiting waiting for her to get better....praying for our family!
July 14 & 22, 2009
19 This year...
Here is what we shared in the Province Newspaper:
She is gone
We can shed tears that she is gone
or we can smile because she has lived.
We can close our eyes and pray that she’ll come back
or we can open our eyes and see all she’s left.
Our hearts can be empty because we can’t see her
or we can be full of the love we shared.
We can turn our backs on tomorrow and live yesterday.
or we can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
We can remember her and only that she’s gone
or we can cherish her memory and let it live on.
We can cry and close our minds be empty and turn our back
or we can do what she’d want:..
Today marks Four Years…We Miss you Sweetgirl
Love Daddy Mommy Brandi & Family
This was Kayla's last Christmas.....it was spent with a very, wonderful, loving family ~ Auntie Debbie, Cousins Danielle and Ryan. Kayla was excited to be going to Auntie Debbie's for Christmas...the good food, the laughs, the movies, but most of all...the love!
Although Kay was tired and exhausted most of the time, she braved each and every moment...Kay couldn't, wouldn't miss a thing. However, there were times that she would have to rest and probably nap....Kay loved Auntie Debbie's bed....the big comfy comforter and a TV all to herself. Kay loved the fact that there was room for everybody but still small enough that she could hold onto something when she walked around. We intended to continue with our yearly ritual of heading off to midnight mass or Christmas Eve mass but instead we headed off to the van and drove around to view Christmas lights...we drove as far as the West End...got to see some magical homes and some not so magical.
Thank you Debbie, Danielle and Ryan for sharing your home and one of the most memorable days.....Kay's last Christmas.....
This was Christmas at the Aspinall house 1301 Fir Avenue Merritt BC...it was Kay's last christmas at her yeye's house....she had a great time enjoyed hanging with her cousins and getting to know her newest cousin Justice...in this picture (left to right):
Brianna Kayla Brandi Virginia and l'il Justice
JULY 22, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET~ANGEL~GIRL!!!
Today, you would have been "18" It’s Still So Hard To Believe That You’re Really Gone And To Know That We Will No Longer See Your Smiling Face, Or Hear The Sound Of You’re Laughter You Left So Many Memories, Which Will Never Part You Will Always Live Deep Inside Our Hearts We Are Thankful That God Graced Us With Someone As Special As You It’s Just Still Hard To Believe Your Life On Earth Is Really Through
In Loving Memory Of "Kayla Marie Dawn O'Flynn" July 22, 1990 - July 14, 2005
July 22, 1990
It was 22 hours of hard labour in Langley, BC Canada and on this day at 5:03 AM a miracle was born...a beautiful girl weighing 6lbs 12.5 oz. Her name:
Kayla ~ Marie ~ after my great grandma Ross Dawn ~ at 5:03, when she was born, I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful rising sun with splashes of orange, red, yellow...
July 14, 2005
Passed away on July 14, 2005 at 11:52 pm. Kayla was only 14...too young...she was in the loving arms of her sister Brandi with mom and dad by her side :o(
The picture I have attached here was taken around May 2005 with her new found little friend, Charlie :o)
August 23 - 28, 2006
In memory of Kayla ~ our holiday was a trip to Disneyland...the trip that Kay never got to experience from Make-A-Wish. Kayla was granted the wish in December 2005 but requested to take the trip during her 15th birthday (July 22) as it was Disney's 50th Anniversary; she was so excited, couldn't wait to meet Winnie the Pooh...it was a VERY BitterSweet trip...you would have loved it Sweetgirl....even though it didn't feel magical when we went, it would have truly been magical had you been able to go...We all miss you Kay~Marie xoxox
The year is 1998....Kayla attended Nicola Canford Elementary School just outside of Merritt BC. She was 8 years old and had 3 best friends...Erin Desy Stefanie Davis and Allison Wormell. She enjoyed school enjoyed hanging with her friends and just did the best she could with what energy she had. Erin lived right beside us on Marshall Road Stefanie and Allison lived farther out on the Spences Bridge highway. Kayla loved having Erin next door cuz she could just walk over to jump on the trampoline and just hang out! She did attend Allison's birthday party and she had a great time...she didn't want to leave. When we moved away from this area Kayla was fortunate to receive pen-pal letters from Stephanie...letters that I have as a keepsake. Stephanie was a very unique writer...Kayla couldn't wait to get each letter from her....:o) Blessed are the ones who had the opportunity to meet Kayla and be her friend. She loved you all.
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